Anonymous is dating after divorce and wants to be special for someone new in her life.
Welcome to Friday Flip on the Becoming You Again podcast. Every Friday I take your divorce problems, conundrums and questions and do a quick flip around to empower you to show up as the best you after divorce.
Anonymous wants to know how to be special for someone now that she is dating again after divorce.
Listen in as I give Anonymous some guidance on seeing herself first as special, and how doing this will take the pressure off of the dating scene making it more fun and light. I also give insight into why seeing yourself as special first creates a more connected relationship with yourself and others in your life.
List to the full episode:
Loving yourself and creating a solid relationship with yourself will only lead to creating a strong, connected relationship with others that you're looking for. If you want to find the lasting love in a relationship that you've always wanted, then starting with connecting and bonding with yourself is key. Click here to schedule your complimentary consult with me to find out how we can help you create this in your life.
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Full Episode Transcript:
Welcome to Friday Flip on the Becoming You Again podcast. Every Friday I take your divorce problems, conundrums and questions and do a quick flip around to empower you to show up as the best you after divorce.
Welcome back to Friday flip. This week anonymous has submitted a problem. They said, “I’ve been divorced for almost a year and have tried dating again, but I’m finding it challenging and stressful. I wish I was special for someone but nothing I’m doing is working.”
Thank you anonymous for your submission. Being special for someone is something that is validating and feels very good. We all naturally seek outside validation because it tells our most primitive part of our brain that we are safe, that we are liked and that we are part of the group. And that’s a great thing. I like outside validation. I think most women listening to this, most people in general also like to hear that we matter to other people and tht’s not a bad thing.
I think what may be most helpful for you right now is learning to see yourself as special. Every human has a special, unique connection with themselves that we so often push down and overlooked as THE relationship and connection that needs to be nurtured and grown first and then forever. Ongoing. Right. This is ongoing work. You are the only person who has been with you always from the very beginning and who will be with you always until the very end. Learning to be special for yourself, to understand your self worth and to recognize your lovability will serve you more than any dating app ever will. Learn to create your own inside validation. Build that cognitive muscle for yourself and you will lessen the pressure of needing someone else to fill your validation cup from the outside.
The best way I can explain to do this is to start by looking for ways that you are special to yourself? What is it about you that you appreciate? What is it about you that makes you smile? The more you can recognize these things in yourself the deeper your connection with yourself will be, which will open you up to being able to connect with others on a deeper level as well. You will start to notice that dating feels less like work and feels more fun and light. It’s going to take the pressure away from needing someone else to see you as special, because already recognize the remarkable person that you are.
Try that out anonymous. Thanks for your question. I will talk to you next week.
That’s your Friday flip! Stay tuned for the weekly podcast episode that comes out every Monday. And remember if you want more one on one help from me as your divorce coach to help you create an even better life than when you were married, then you need to schedule your free consult with me by going to www.karinnelsoncoaching.com Remember that’s Karin with an ‘I’.