This week I'm helping Anonymous.
Welcome to Friday Flip on the Becoming You Again podcast. Every Friday I take your divorce problems, conundrums and questions and do a quick flip around to empower you to show up as the best you after divorce.
Do you have someone in your life that is super critical of you, but they tell you it's because they want you to be the 'best you' you can be? Or maybe you're the one that is extremely self critical - like when you want to lose weight and you 'mess up' and eat some cookies that were off plan - do you constantly beat yourself up to try to motivate change?
Listen in to today's short Friday Flip where I answer anonymous's question about what it means when someone is constantly criticizing us and how to respond moving forward.
Do you have trouble setting boundaries and keeping them? Do you wish that you knew how to stand up for yourself when you're around your ex, or even your current partner? Feeling confident and having your own back (standing up for yourself no matter what) is a skill that you can learn, even if you've never felt confident before. I can teach you that skill. Click here to schedule your free consult with me to find out more.
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Full Episode Transcript:
Welcome to Friday Flip on the Becoming You Again podcast. Every Friday I take your divorce problems, conundrums and questions and do a quick flip around to empower you to show up as the best you after divorce.
This week’s question comes from anonymous. My partner is constantly criticizing me and he tells me it’s for my own good to help me improve myself. Is this true or is he just being toxic?
Thanks for your question anonymous. Criticizing someone to try and get them to change or to ‘help them improve’ isn’t actually being helpful and isn’t going to get them to change. When we criticize ourselves and other people in our relationships all we do is create distance, because there’s so much judgement going on. The good news here is that at any time you can decide if you are showing up in a way that you want to change. It’s not for your partner to tell you how to change. it’s for you to become aware of the actions or the behaviors and decide for yourself if it’s something that you want to work on and change. That’s called self reflection and it’s the most powerful way to make changes because you’re deciding from your own awareness. But you also get to decide if you want to continue to allow him to talk to you this way. Now of course you can’t make him stop criticizing you, but you can decide how you want to respond if he continues to do it. It’s your responsibility to have your own back and take care of you when someone is treating you poorly so make sure to decide for yourself where that line is.
Thanks so much for your question, anonymous. I’ll be back next week.
That’s your Friday flip! Stay tuned for the weekly podcast episode that comes out every Monday. And remember if you want more one on one help from me as your divorce coach to help you create an even better life than when you were married, then you need to schedule your free consult with me by going to www.karinnelsoncoaching.com Remember that’s Karin with an ‘I’.