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Friday Flip: Dealing with a Terrible Coparent

This week's problem comes from Natalie.



Welcome to Friday Flip on the Becoming You Again podcast. Every Friday I take your divorce problems, conundrums and questions and do a quick flip around to empower you to show up as the best you after divorce. I'm answering Natalie's question today. She wants some guidance on how to deal with knowing her ex is a terrible coparent and the fact that he doesn't really try with the kids. This can be a tough place to be as a mom, because divorce is hard enough. We want nothing more than for our coparenting relationship to be a good one and for our ex's to show up as a great dad. Unfortunately that isn't always the case. I'm helping Natalie navigate the sadness that shows up with all of it.


If you're divorced and you're struggling with your coparenting relationship, I can help. I'll teach you how to set effective boundaries when necessary, how to let go of what you can't control and show up as the parent you want to be. Set up your free consult with me and I'll walk you through how we will make it happen together. Click here to schedule.


List to the full episode:



Featured on this episode:


  1. Interested in the Divorce Betrayal Transformation? Learn more here.

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  3. Want to know first hand how Karin can help you with your specific problems so you can live an even better life than when you were married? Click here to schedule a free consult.

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Full Episode Transcript:

Welcome to Friday Flip on the Becoming You Again podcast. Every Friday I take your divorce problems, conundrums and questions and do a quick flip around to empower you to show up as the best you after divorce.



Today I’m answering Natalie’s question about coparenting. She says, “How do you deal with the heartbreak of terrible co-parenting? How do you function past the sadness of what you had hoped coparenting would be and what you had hoped the relationship between the kids and the dad would be?”


Natalie thank you for this question. The first place that you need to start is to allow yourself to be sad about this. Often we think that if we are sad about something that we need to change how we’re feeling and that’s just not true. There are some things that we want to be sad about. You are allowed to recognize that your coparenting relationship and the relationship that your kids have with their dad isn’t great and it is something that you want to be sad about.


Sadness and disappointment are feelings that you can feel and they will actually move through you when you process them; when you allow them. Sadness won’t keep you stuck if you process it and allow it. But if you resist the sadness it often that sadness will turn to anger which will keep you stuck. It will keep you spinning and in a place where you think you have to ‘fix’ the situation or change your ex to make things better or feel better or make your kids feel something. That’s not even possible. We know we can’t change ex.


So to prevent yourself from getting to that space, I want you to stay in sadness and I want you to allow it and process through it. If you don’t know how to process then go listen to my podcast episode about processing emotions, but don’t be in a hurry to get rid of the sadness. Once you’ve allowed the sadness you’ll get to a place where you can accept your ex for who he is. You will be able to accept your coparenting relationship for what it is, not what you wish it that was, and when you get to that place then you don’t make it mean that something has gone wrong for you or your kids. When you can open up to this acceptance of what is, that is when you will feel peace and freedom.


Thank you so much for this question, Natalie. I will talk to you next week.


Welcome to Friday Flip on the Becoming You Again podcast. Every Friday I take your divorce problems, conundrums and questions and do a quick flip around to empower you to show up as the best you after divorce.

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