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Ep #167: Listening to Your Body | Becoming You Again Podcast

Part of healing from your divorce is learning to actively listen to your body's wisdom. In this episode you'll learn exactly how to listen to your body and learn it's unique language. You will discover how embracing your body's language will be a catalyst for personal growth, wisdom and reconnection after years of neglect.

I'll guide you through grounding exercise where you will fine tune how to listen to your body and begin to see patterns of speaking to you through vibrations, sensations, tension, temperature and more.  These practices will help you decode your body's language and build a stronger connection with your physical self. By keeping a log of these observations, you'll deepen your emotional resilience and start a new chapter of independence and well-being. This episode is your invitation to embrace your body's wisdom and embark on a journey of self-reconnection and healing after divorce.

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Grief and trauma are the two biggest struggles women deal with as they go through their divorce. It's highly likely that you are experiencing both and don't even realize what you're feeling. I'm here to tell you that it's okay for you to grieve your marriage (even if it was shitty) and it's normal to be experiencing some kind of trauma (which is essentially a disconnection from yourself - your mind, body and soul). I can help guide you through the grief in all of the forms it shows up so you can heal. I can also teach you how to ground yourself in healing so you can ease through the trauma. Schedule your free consult by clicking here.

Featured on this episode:

  1. Interested in the Divorce Betrayal Transformation? Learn more here.

  2. Are you lost and confused about who you are after divorce? Don't worry. I've got 51 Ways to Get to Know Yourself Again. Click here to download.

  3. Want to work first hand with Karin so you can stop worrying about what your life will be like after divorce, and instead begin making it amazing today? Click here to schedule a consult to find out more about working 1:1 with Karin as your coach.

  4. Haven't left a review yet? No problem. Click here to leave one.

Full Episode Transcript:

This is Becoming you Again, the podcast to help with your mental and emotional needs as you go through your divorce. I am your host, karin Nelson, and this is episode number 167. Welcome to Becoming you Again, the podcast to help you with your mental and emotional well-being during and after divorce. This is where you learn to overcome the grief and trauma of your divorce. We're going to do that by reconnecting with yourself, creating lasting emotional resilience and living a truly independent life so that your life can be even better than when you were married. I'm your host, karin Nelson. Hello, my lovely friends, I am so glad that you're here listening to the podcast. Hopefully all is well.


Many of us are probably full on in either end of school year mode or getting really close to summer mode, and for some people this is an exciting time and you really love the summer, even if you're going through your divorce. It's just means more time with your kids If you have kind of more flexible schedule, and for other people this is a very stressful time. So, whatever you're going through, just know I got you, I love you, you've got this, you can do it. I am gearing up for my trip to Alaska for the next, you know, seven weeks, basically throughout the summer. I'm very excited and also I'm a little bit like this is a little weird for me. I've never been away from my home for seven weeks straight. You know, I've never been away from my kids and have it been my choice to where I'm leaving and they're staying. That's kind of a weird thing as well. And my partner and my cats and my home. I'm very much a homebody. You guys know I've been working from home Even before I started my coaching business. I've been working from my home for like 20 years. And so to be outside of this comfort zone even though I'm very excited and I think it's going to be a lot of adventure and laughs and I'm so excited to spend so much time when I went with my sister and her husband and in Alaska, like this beautiful environment I'm also a little bit nervous about being so far outside of my comfort zone for such a long time.


I think it's going to be a really good learning experience for me. I think it's going to be a really great way for me to practice the things that I teach about grounding myself, about allowing myself to flow in and out of my nervous system, my heightened nervous systems and my regulations of my nervous system better and really opening myself up to feeling and allowing the emotions that I'm going through as I am going on this kind of new adventure in my life, and maybe this will present the opportunity for you to practice as well in whatever thing that you're going through in your life. Yes, of course, your summer is not going to look like mine, because we're all different and we're all. We have different lives and different things that are going on. But this might just be the opportunity for you, or the nudge that you need, to also open yourself up to feeling uncomfortable in certain ways, but in a way that helps you grow, in a way that helps you reconnect with yourself deeper, in a way that teaches you that uncomfortable doesn't necessarily mean bad. Uncomfortable doesn't necessarily mean something has gone wrong. Okay, so that's just like me on my soapbox.


That's not even what the podcast is about today. That was just like a little reminder for you and me me mostly, because I'm the one that's, like you know, doing this thing. But today I'm going to be talking about specifically how to listen to your body. If you've been listening to this podcast for a little while or maybe this is your first time here, you'll know if you go back to listen to any of the somatic practices, the grounding techniques, any of the ones where I talk about reconnecting yourself with your body, I talk about how to listen to your body. I'm like, just listen to your body and like listen to what it's telling you and open yourself up to, like, act on the things that your body is telling you. What is your body saying? I'm saying words like that, right Sentences like that. What does that mean? How do we actually listen to our body?


And this is a really good question, because I would venture to guess that many of you who are going through a divorce, who are thinking about divorce or who are divorced but are still working through this healing process, have been very disconnected from their body for many, many years. And I say that number one because I coach my clients and that is exactly where they're at and they are exactly where you're at Right. And number two because that is exactly where I was when I was going through my divorce. When I was getting out of my divorce, I did not know who I was, I did not know how to process emotions, I did not know how to go into my body and allow it to speak to me. In fact, this idea of getting out of your head and into your body has just been something that I have really been focusing on for myself over the last probably two years. Okay, so before that, I was so disconnected from my body in a way that I had no idea would provide so much healing and growth for me personally that it has been like night and day difference.


When I'm going through really hard things, I'm able to process through my grief in such a more real, authentic way where I don't judge and I just allow it to be present inside of me, and I've never been able to do that. Things in the past have taken me so much longer to grieve and to heal from and to allow to be present, and it's it's actually really beautiful and amazing that I am learning to connect to my body in such a beautiful way, and I want you guys to feel connected to yourself as well. When we connect to our body, when we listen to our body, that brings our brain open to understanding and curiosity, which then creates a trifecta of brain and intuition alignment that helps us make decisions and live our lives from our authentic, true self, we're able to connect to our intuition and know what is right and best for us. And that's really hard to do when we don't know how to listen to our body, when we've been so disconnected from it for so long that we don't know what's right for us and we second guess ourselves and we get wishy-washy and we go back and forth and we only see things in black and white and there's no in between. It's really hard to reconnect with our body, our brain and our intuition when we don't even know how to listen to our body. So that's what we're doing today, is I'm going to teach you specifically what to do when you go to listen to your body. Now, this is a somatic practice. This is something that you can practice when you have time, maybe when you're feeling dysregulated, maybe when you're feeling even calm and peaceful and you're in your ventral vagal state, right, but you can go in and start to pay attention to what's going on in your body and get better at recognizing the cues of your body and get better at recognizing the language of your body. So a really good idea for this is to kind of keep a log for however many times you do this, or a journal or a piece of paper, even whatever you've got right. You don't have to, doesn't have to be fancy, but we just want to like, maybe, keep some notes about what you were noticing, because the whole idea is we're listening to our body, we're starting to pay attention and notice things, become aware of the inner landscape or the inner language of our body. Okay, so get your piece of paper ready so that you can write down, after we're finished, what you notice.


I want you to settle into a comfortable position. That could either be sitting on a chair, a couch, it could even be lying down on the floor, on your bed, wherever you feel comfortable. You can do this with your eyes open. You can do this with your eyes closed. It depends on you and what feels comfortable. Get in your position and then I just want you to connect with your chair, with the floor, with your bed, wherever you, whatever your position is, connect with it. Ground your body with your breath. What does your body feel like against the chair? What does your feet feel like, connected to the floor, pushing against the floor? What is your breath feel like, moving in and out of your body, in and out of your lungs? What do you notice? So ground yourself in that way, just take a minute or so to do that Recognize, be open and aware.


And then I want you to do a quick scan through your body and I want you to notice any obvious things like tension. Am I holding tension in my shoulders? Are my feet flexed? For me personally, I notice I hold a lot of tension in my butt, in my butt muscles. I'm often very flexing my butt muscles. Where do I feel tension? And just notice these are like the obvious things that we're going to notice as we do our body scan. What's my temperature? Is my temperature raised? Am I feeling flush in my cheeks? Am I cool? Am I cold? Just anything that stands out like. Immediately notice and continue to breathe as you do this.


Now I want you to focus your attention on more of a wide awareness of your body, almost like you're going global with your body. You're thinking of your body as the earth and you're going to take it in sections. Notice any areas of interest. Is my head region feeling numb or foggy? If it is, can I just focus my attention on my head region in this moment for a couple of breaths, for maybe a minute, and as I pay attention to that fog, to that region of my head, and what's happening? Do I notice anything? Does anything shift? Just by paying attention, can I breathe through this? Does anything move or change? Now I'm going to take my attention to maybe my heart region or my stomach region. Is anything feeling closed off or heavy? Is anything feeling numb numb? Is anything feeling open? Just start to pay attention to the regions of your body in more of a global sense and be aware of any changes, of any movements, of anything that might be speaking to you in your body's language. You can work through several areas in your body, but my suggestion is to keep it to three or less.


Anytime you do this and just start to notice. Just start to be present in your body as you're doing this. Notice. If you have any questions that come up, you can write that down on your log. Notice how your body responds when you start to pay attention to the different regions. Does your body start to open up? Do you start to relax? Are there regions of your body that start to contract or are you feeling more neutral in these moments? Stay present with what comes up. If it starts to contract, just notice. We don't have to figure out why, we don't have to judge what your body is doing. We're just noticing. And then, when you're done, you can write down anything that you might notice. And then, when you're done, you can write down anything that you might notice.


If you feel emotions during this exercise, let them be there, let them be present wherever they show up, and just notice them by listening to what is happening in your body, by opening yourself up to noticing what is happening in your body, by opening yourself up to noticing what is happening in your body, and then, as you finish this process, if there's any insights that you might have, if there's any aha moments, or even if there's just like this thing happened and I don't know what it means, or it doesn't make any sense, or it was just pretty like Okay, this happened, I don't understand it, or I'm just recognizing it, or I'm just aware of it. Write those things down in your journal about your body's language and just let them be. The more you do this, the more open you are to this work, the better you will get at listening to your body and what it's trying to tell you. Again, the whole idea is to reconnect yourself to your body, which will then reconnect you to your brain, which will then allow you to connect the dots between your body, your brain and your intuition. That makes you whole, that makes you free to choose and be authentically who you are and to live from that place, and that is a beautiful place to be. All right, my friends, I hope this helps you reconnect with yourself, with your body, with who you are authentically, and with listening and understanding in a way that maybe you never have before. That is what I have for you today, and I will be back next week.


Hi, friend, I'm so glad you're here and thanks for listening. I wanted to let you know that if you're wanting more, a way to make deeper, more lasting change, then working one-on-one with me as your coach may be exactly what you need. Together, we'll take everything you're learning in the podcast and implement it in your life, with weekly coaching, real-life practice and practical guidance. To learn more about how to work with me one-on-one, go to KarinNelsonCoaching dot com. That's W-W-W dot K-A-R-I-N-N-E-L-S-O-N. Coachingcom. Thanks for listening. If this podcast agreed with you in any way, please take a minute to follow and give me a rating. Wherever you listen to podcasts and for more details about how I can help you live an even better life than when you were married. Make sure and check out the full show notes by clicking the link in the description.




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