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Friday Flip: Feeling Lost Among Happy Couples

This week's problem comes from Jamie.





Welcome to Friday Flip on the Becoming You Again podcast. Every Friday I take your divorce problems, conundrums and questions and do a quick flip around to empower you to show up as the best you after divorce.


I'm helping Jamie today. She is tired of seeing all the happy couples around her now that she's divorced and alone. She is feeling emotionally lost and wants some help to stop feeling like she's the only one who isn't happy and in a couple.


Listen in as I help Jamie see what's really going on and how she can start to feel better right now.


If you're divorced and you're struggling with the comparison of you and all the other 'happy' couples around you and you want to stop feeling terrible every time you step out of your house, then I can help you. Set up your free consult with me and I'll walk you through the steps we'll take together so you can start feeling better and living the kind of life you want after divorce. Click here to schedule.


List to the full episode:



Featured on this episode:


  1. Interested in the Divorce Betrayal Transformation? Learn more here.

  2. Are you lost and confused about who you are after divorce? Don't worry. I've got 51 Ways to Get to Know Yourself Again. Click here to download.

  3. Want to know first hand how Karin can help you with your specific problems so you can live an even better life than when you were married? Click here to schedule a free consult.

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Full Episode Transcript:

Welcome to Friday Flip on the Becoming You Again podcast. Every Friday I take your divorce problems, conundrums and questions and do a quick flip around to empower you to show up as the best you after divorce.



Today’s question is from Jamie. Why is noticing happy couples so obvious when you’re on your own and feeling emotionally lost?


Jamie, It’s because our brain is really good at looking for things that we subconsciously are telling it to look for. Subconsciously you’ve got a story going on that because you’re not a couple any more that there’s something wrong with you, and your brain wants to be more right than it wants you to feel good. Your brain will go at great lengths to find evidence to support what you believe to be true. If you believe that something is wrong with you because you’re not a couple any more, your brain will start looking for all the couples and pointing them out with a story of see, they’re getting it right and you’re doing it wrong. There’s another couple and another couple. Look how happy they are and look how unhappy we are because we’re doing it wrong.


But Jamie, here’s the good news, this story that you’ve told your brain can be changed. And you’ve done it unconsciously. It’s not like you’re consciously telling your brain that there’s something wrong with you, it’s all subconscious. This story can be changed. Think of your as a super computer. You tell it one thing and then say subconsciously now go look for all of the things that will support to prove to me this idea is true. So if you want to think differently about not being in a couple, you can, and your brain will begin to show you different evidence to support that new belief. If you want to believe that it’s possible to be happy and not be in a relationship you can and then your brain would start to see all of the people out there who are single who are living happy, amazing lives. You get to decide how you’re going to define you and your life. Your brain will do everything it can to support that idea. Choose something that is going to serve you and then put your brain to work to find all of evidence that this is true.


Thanks so much for your question, Jamie. I’ll talk to you next week.


That’s your Friday flip! Stay tuned for the weekly podcast episode that comes out every Monday. And remember if you want more one on one help from me as your divorce coach to help you create an even better life than when you were married, then you need to schedule your free consult with me by going to www.karinnelsoncoaching.com Remember that’s Karin with an ‘I’.


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