This week's problem comes from Amanda.
Welcome to Friday Flip on the Becoming You Again podcast. Every Friday I take your divorce problems, conundrums and questions and do a quick flip around to empower you to show up as the best you after divorce.
Amanda doesn't know where to start to pick up the broken pieces after divorce. She is just starting this journey of divorce and is tired of feeling the pain and misery and needs help knowing how to feel better.
Listen in as I help Amanda know where to start when it comes to feeling less of a shell of herself so she can pick up the pieces and move forward.
So many of us feel the pain of divorce. And that pain can feel so scary and so miserable that we retreat into ourselves pulling away from being our true self to try and diffuse the misery and hurt that we feel is bombarding us. The key to feeling like yourself again so that you can move forward after divorce isn't finding a new partner, going out with friends more or even "self care" like taking more baths and learning to paint. The key is allowing your emotions to be with you and allowing your self to move through them. This can seem alarming when you don't know how to allow and process through emotions. Good thing I'm here to teach you how in my easy 3 step process. Once you learn this you can handle anything that comes your way, because no emotion will be scary to handle after divorce. Click here to schedule your free consult with me to find out more.
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Full Episode Transcript:
Welcome back to Friday Flip. Today’s question comes from Amanda.
How do you pick up the pieces after divorce? I am so lost and I don’t know how to find a sense of self or even my individual identity. I’m in the beginning stages of this process and I feel like a shell of myself just trying to go through the motions. How do I get out of feeling like this?
Hi Amanda. Thank you for your question. The thing that everyone remember right now in this moment is that part of healing after a divorce is allowing yourself to grieve the loss of what was. You are in the beginning of this journey. You are feeling loss, disappointment, sadness. You’re feeling unsettled, and probably many other emotions. All of these are necessary to feel as you move through the grieving process.
The best way to handle this feeling like a shell of yourself is to connect with yourself as you process and feel these emotions. When hard emotions comes up I really want you to get inside your body and focus all of your thoughts on where you feel that emotion inside her body. Get out of your head. It is your head that is creating so much of this unnecessary suffering that you are feeling and you have to move through these kind of hard, negative emotions. The grieving, the loss, the disappointment and sadness to be able to move forward. So get inside your body, focus where you feel it. Describe what it feels like and breathe. Breathe in. Breathe out. Be present with where you are at right now.
You really don’t need to worry about picking up the pieces or trying to get out of feeling this way. All you need to focus on right now, is really being present with where you are at. Really being present with feelings these emotions because the more you can be present with them and allow them the faster and the easier it will be as you move through them. This is all clean pain that you are feeling and if you open up to it, it will move through you and it will heal you. And then you won’t have any broken pieces that you have to pick up. You will just be able to take your life where you are at and move forward from there.
Thank you so much for that question Amanda. I will talk to you next week.
That’s your Friday flip! Stay tuned for the weekly podcast episode that comes out every Monday. And remember if you want more one on one help from me as your divorce coach to help you create an even better life than when you were married, then you need to schedule your free consult with me by going to www.karinnelsoncoaching.com Remember that’s Karin with an ‘I’.