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Ep #69 Friday Flip: Getting Over My Ex

This week's Question comes from Jeanine.




Welcome to Friday Flip on the Becoming You Again podcast. Every Friday I take your divorce problems, conundrums and questions and do a quick flip around to empower you to show up as the best you after divorce.


Getting over a break up and being able to move on can be challenging, even if you're the one who asked for the divorce. Listen in as I help Jeanine look inside herself for the answers, as she is questioning why she hasn't been able to get over her ex and move on.


Are you always questioning yourself and whether you made the 'right' decision by getting a divorce? Even though you knew in the moment that it was time to end the marriage, do you still find yourself spinning in confusion as to why you didn't try harder? Do you often find yourself wishing you could just let go and move on with your life? The transition out of a marriage and into single life again is challenging. But you don't have to do it alone. I can act as your guide as you work to leave the past where it belongs, behind you, and help you move toward a future that you choose on purpose. Click here to schedule your complimentary consult with me to find out more.


List to the full episode:



Featured on this episode:


  1. Interested in the Divorce Betrayal Transformation? Learn more here.

  2. Are you lost and confused about who you are after divorce? Don't worry. I've got 51 Ways to Get to Know Yourself Again. Click here to download.

  3. Want to know first hand how Karin can help you with your specific problems so you can live an even better life than when you were married? Click here to schedule a free consult.

  4. Haven't left a review yet? No problem. Click here to leave one.


Full Episode Transcript:

Welcome to Friday Flip on the Becoming You Again podcast. Every Friday I take your divorce problems, conundrums and questions and do a quick flip around to empower you to show up as the best you after divorce.


This weeks’ question is from Jeannine. She asks, “Why can’t I get over my ex and just let my marriage go? We’ve been in this process for years and the divorce is barely making progress. We tried to make it work but couldn’t. I don’t know what to do anymore?”


Thanks for your question Jeanine. Often when we’re struggling with something like this, where we want to move on and let go but we aren’t sure why we’re not or how to do it, we turn to others to give us the answer because we don’t trust our own intuition.


This is really common for women to do this, for several reasons. As women we are socialized to believe that our opinions and decisions aren’t worthy on their own and we need to have a concesus behind them as proof that they are valid opinions and the right decision or the right opinion. And the second reason is because of the way our school system works. We are taught that we will be told the answer to things without really having to figure it out on our own. If we come up with the ‘right’ answer because we were told that then we’ll get the gold star or the A in the class.


So because you’re a woman who was raised in western society it makes perfect sense that you would turn to me, or your peers, or other women who have gone through divorce to tell you why you haven’t been able to get over your ex and why you haven’t been able to let your marriage go. But the reality is you are the only person who knows the answer to these questions.


Take some time and sit with these questions for yourself and see what you come up with. Why haven’t you been able to get over your ex? What’s holding you back from doing that? Why haven’t you been able to let your marriage go? What do you really want in this situation? Are you willing to be uncomfortable to create what it is that you really want in your life right now? If it helps to think about it this way, you can pretend that you’re sitting across from me in a coaching session and I’m asking you these questions? Be open to answering these questions honestly without judging what your answers are going to be. Because when you can do that without judgement that will give you the most clarity and guidance on why you haven’t been able to get over your ex and why you haven’t been able to let your marriage go. And it will also give you reassurance on what you can think, feel and do moving forward.


Remember, I can give you the guidance of what questions to ask, but actually doing the thought work and being open to your honest answers is where the real growth for yourself is going to happen. So take some time to do this.


Thanks for your question Jeanine. I’ll be back next week.


That’s your Friday flip! Stay tuned for the weekly podcast episode that comes out every Monday. And remember if you want more one on one help from me as your divorce coach to help you create an even better life than when you were married, then you need to schedule your free consult with me by going to www.karinnelsoncoaching.com Remember that’s Karin with an ‘I’.


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