This week I'm answering a question from Carrie.
Welcome to Friday Flip on the Becoming You Again podcast. Every Friday I take your divorce problems, conundrums and questions and do a quick flip around to empower you to show up as the best you after divorce.
Being sick as a divorced single mom can feel stressful and overwhelming. We judge ourselves for being sick, for not being the mom we usually are, for making the kids be less structured, for needing to take a break, for not having a partner and more.
This needs to stop and I'm helping Carrie see why in today's short episode. Listen in as I help her change the narrative around being sick.
Do you feel guilty as a mom? Do you continually blame yourself for the divorce, for not being there enough for the kids, and feeling like you're creating an unhappy, painful life for them? Telling yourself this story and blaming yourself won't help you to be a better mom. I can teach you how to be the mom you want to be and drop the blame and guilt associated with the divorce. Click here to schedule your complimentary consult with me to find out more.
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Full Episode Transcript:
Welcome to Friday Flip on the Becoming You Again podcast. Every Friday I take your divorce problems, conundrums and questions and do a quick flip around to empower you to show up as the best you after divorce.
The question this week comes from Carrie. She says, “What do you do with your young kids when you’re home sick with them? I’m sick this week and my younger kids are watching so much TV but I don’t have the energy to do anything. I hate being alone and not having someone to pick up the slack when ti comes to taking care of the kids or the house when I’m sick and can’t do it on my own.”
Thanks for your question Carrie. Here’s what I want you to know. It’s okay to be sick. I’m giving you permission to be sick and to let your kids watch too much TV and to let your house be messy. If that’s what you’re waiting for is somebody to give you permission for it. There you go. I’ve given it to you. Carrie, you’re sick. Give yourself grace and compassion to be sick. This idea that you need to be entertaining your child 24/7 and making sure they don’t have too much screen time and making sure that your house is cleaned to a certain standard is another way that societal ideals has permeated into our psyche as women.
When men get sick they don’t worry about any of this stuff. You want to know what they do? They go to bed and allow their bodies to heal. They don’t worry if the kids are watching too much TV or if the house is picked up. But because we as women have this underlying belief that we can’t take care of ourselves until everything and every one else is looked after first, we feel guilty for things that are completely out of our control, like getting sick.
You are allowed to be sick and to heal in whatever way that looks like for you, even if that means your young kids are going to watch too much TV. Even if it means you’re your older kids have to make dinner for themselves. Even if it means that you have to miss a few days of work or your house goes unattended. When you’re better you can go back to being the kind of mom you want to be and regulating screen time and keeping your house as clean as you want it to be, but right now, taking care of yourself and allowing your body to heal is the priority. Love yourself enough to do that. Give yourself permission to do that.
Thanks for your question Carrie. I’ll be back next week.
That’s your Friday flip! Stay tuned for the weekly podcast episode that comes out every Monday. And remember if you want more one on one help from me as your divorce coach to help you create an even better life than when you were married, then you need to schedule your free consult with me by going to www.karinnelsoncoaching.com Remember that’s Karin with an ‘I’.