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Friday Flip: How Do I Stop Grieving?

This week's Question comes from Sherri.

Welcome to Friday Flip on the Becoming You Again podcast. Every Friday I take your divorce problems, conundrums and questions and do a quick flip around to empower you to show up as the best you after divorce.

Sherri wants to know if she will ever stop grieving. Listen in as I answer Sherri's question about grief and how to deal with it now and in the future when it shows up unexpectedly.

Even though grief is a necessary part of the healing process, it can be tiresome and heavy if we don't know how to process through it effectively. We can often prolong the grief cycle keeping us feeling stuck and exhausted by our emotional turmoil. But it doesn't have to be this way. You can learn to allow the emotions that are attached to grief and move through it quicker and with ease. I can teach you how. Click here to schedule your free consult with me to find out more.

List to the full episode:

Featured on this episode:

  1. Interested in the Divorce Betrayal Transformation? Learn more here.

  2. Are you lost and confused about who you are after divorce? Don't worry. I've got 51 Ways to Get to Know Yourself Again. Click here to download.

  3. Want to know first hand how Karin can help you with your specific problems so you can live an even better life than when you were married? Click here to schedule a free consult.

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Full Episode Transcript:

Welcome to Friday Flip on the Becoming You Again podcast. Every Friday I take your divorce problems, conundrums and questions and do a quick flip around to empower you to show up as the best you after divorce.

Today’s problem is presented by Sherri. She asks, “Is there ever a time that you stop grieving what was and what should have been?”

Thanks for your question Sherri. The answer is yes and no. The answer is yes in this way. Grief is something that all of us need to allow and process through so that we can heal from our divorce. That is going to include a feeling sad about the loss of what was – what you once had with your partner before things changed. And it’s going to include feeling disappointment about the future you thought you were going to have but you ended up being wrong about. This pain, this grief, it will come and it’s necessary to be there to help you kind of clean your wounds and heal your soul. However if you listened to Monday’s episode on healing the pain of divorce, then you know that grief is all clean pain. And it’s the dirty pain that is unnecessary and if you’re feeling exhausted and miserable at the end of each day, then my guess is you’re not just feeling grief but there’s some dirty pain that is going in there too, that is kind of mixed up in there. So if you can let go of the dirty pain, and allow the clean pain of grief to be there, to be a part of you right now, it will move through you faster it will help you to feel better in the long run.

But also the answer to your question, is there ever a time when you’re going to stop? No. And only I say that because when we’ve moved through the grief and we’ve moved forward in our life, we are still human and as humans we still have thoughts. So you might be five or even 10 years or 15 years out from your divorce and then one day your brain will offer you thoughts of what was so many years ago. Right? You’ll remember something. You’ll think of maybe like what could have possibly been of that relationship. And your brain will offer you these thoughts and you might decide to spin in those thoughts for a little bit and you’ll feel the grief and you’ll feel the sadness and you’ll feel the disappointment and the hurt bubble up again, right because of what you’re thinking. So when this happens it doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong with you. It doesn’t mean that you want your ex back. It doesn’t mean that you’ve made a mistake or a wrong decision. All it means is that you’re human and your brain is offering you human thoughts and you’re feeling emotions because of those thoughts. That’s it. And if you can look at situations in a neutral way. If you can look at when these thoughts pop up in a neutral way like that without attaching judgement to why you’re having them, then you’ll be able to just let go of them easily and move on with your day. So yes you can move through the grief by just allowing that dirty pain, but know you still will have grief moments pop up in the future and it’s okay. It doesn’t have to mean that something has gone wrong. It doesn’t have to mean that you’re doing it wrong, that you made a wrong decision. None of that. It’s just a thought because you’re human. You can think it and go, ‘oh yep. There’s that thought.’ And then just allow it to pass through your brain and let it go.

Alright I hope that helps, Sherri. Thank you so much for your question Sherri. I’ll talk to you next week.

That’s your Friday flip! Stay tuned for the weekly podcast episode that comes out every Monday. And remember if you want more one on one help from me as your divorce coach to help you create an even better life than when you were married, then you need to schedule your free consult with me by going to Remember that’s Karin with an ‘I’.



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