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Ep #90: Loving Your Body | Becoming You Again Podcast

We live in a body neurotic world. When it comes to bodies and health it’s all just a giant mess of ideals and standards for women. There is so much noise that attributes a woman’s worth to how she looks. We learn to see ourselves and judge how we look from an outside perspective, trying to figure out what other people must be thinking about us and then conform to fit those standards.

In this episode I'll be talking about why loving your body and learning to love the skin you're in. You'll learn the top factor that leads to body hate and shame and how to reverse it to start loving your body exactly as you are today. I'll also give you four more tips to help you on your self love journey to create being able to listen to your body, have body acceptance while opening a path for body diversity to be the new normal.

Want to submit a question for the 100th episode? DM Karin @karinnelsoncoaching on Instagram. To schedule your complimentary consult with Karin click here. The Becoming You Again Program for divorced women is coming! If you want to be the first to know when it's available then you need to join the waitlist by clicking here. Make sure to follow and rate the podcast on your favorite podcasting app.

List to the full episode:

Self confidence and high self esteem comes because of how you think about yourself. It isn't given to you by something you do or accomplish or someone outside of you. When you learn to love your body and feel good in the skin you are in you will automatically feel more confident, have greater self esteem and feel more connected to yourself than ever before. This can be your reality. If you are tired of feeling like shit every time you look in the mirror. If you want to stop hiding yourself in the background of pictures and start feeling like the fucking queen that you are and owning it, exactly as you are today without changing your body to do so, then you need to work with me. I can teach you to love yourself exactly as you are now, heal from your trauma of divorce and move into creating the kind of life you have always wanted to live - full of confidence, self trust and happiness. Schedule your free consult by clicking here.

Featured on this episode:

  1. Interested in the Divorce Betrayal Transformation? Learn more here.

  2. Are you lost and confused about who you are after divorce? Don't worry. I've got 51 Ways to Get to Know Yourself Again. Click here to download.

  3. Want to work first hand with Karin so you can stop worrying about what your life will be like after divorce, and instead begin making it amazing today? Click here to apply to work 1:1 with Karin as your coach.

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Full Episode Transcript:

I’m Karin Nelson and you’re listening to Becoming You Again episode number 90.

Welcome to becoming You Again. The podcast to help you with your mental and emotional wellbeing during and after divorce. This is where you learn to overcome the trauma of your divorce by reconnecting with yourself, creating lasting emotional resilience and living a truly independent life so your life will be even better than when you were married. I’m your host Karin Nelson.

Hello my friends. it’s a new week, a new podcast and this is episode number 90 which I think is actually pretty cool! We are very, very close to episode 100 which in the podcast world is kind of a big deal. Not a lot of podcasts make it to 100 and when you do, hurray. Celebrate. That is amazing. So I’ve been thinking about what I might want to do for the 100th episode and I was thinking it might be kind of fun to do a Q&A episode. I will answer questions for literally anything you want to know about. Anything you want to know about me. It does not have to be divorce related. It can be. But it totally does not have to be. It can be personal questions. It can be asking about coaching, asking about my childhood, asking about my partner, asking about my kids, parenting questions literally whatever you want. You want to know what TV shows I watch, ask it. You want to know what kind of music I love. Ask it. You want to know where I travel to. Anything and everything goes within reason. So this is how you submit a question for the 100th episode. I want you to DM me on Instagram @karinnelsoncoaching and if you remember to put the number 100 and there either at the beginning or the end. Just somewhere so I know this is specifically for the 100th episode. If you forget I probably will figure it out because it is maybe not going to be a Friday flip submission because it is not divorce specific but either way I will try to answer as many questions that come in as I can and I will be recording this podcast in a few weeks because I usually record a few weeks out and so you have until February 6 to submit your questions.

Alright so onto today’s topic. Loving Your body. We live in a body neurotic world. When it comes to bodies and health it’s all just kind of a giant mess of ideals and standards for women that have evolved over the years to where we find ourselves today; thin is in, strong is ok, but not too strong and if you find yourself living in a fat body – well can you just stay indoors so no one has to see you or interact with you because gross.

Don’t get me wrong, these ideals are changing. I know that. The industry standards are slowly changing and this is being led by women, men and leaders who are tired of being looked at as less than because their body doesn’t measure up on a size chart that was literally created by the diet industry. Right. These people are leading the charge in moving toward a society where listening to YOUR body is key, where body acceptance is the path and body diversity is becoming more of the norm. Strides have been made and continue to be made but I think there is more to do. And like everything that I teach, if we are going to make any kind of difference in this world we have to start with our world and where we have the most influence first – and that always starts with ourselves.

So today that is why I am talking about loving your body. And I don’t mean loving the body you had when you were 18, or the body you had before you had kids, or the body you had when you were active and went to the gym 5 days a week 10 years ago. I mean the body you have right now. Today. The one you woke up with this morning. Whatever that body that you live in at this moment is the one I’m talking about. My goal is to help you love yourself and your body that you are in right now a little bit more.

There is so much that is behind the body shame industry and why we have such a hard time believing that we are beautiful in the skin we live in. I’m not going to go into great detail about why our world and society and culture is this way in this podcast but if you would like to learn more about it and the idea of body objectification and body shaming and where this all comes from then I would recommend a couple of books that you can read that will help you and I am sure there are far more out there. I would recommend reading More Than A Body by Lindsay Kite and Lexie Kite. And of course there’s also a couple of great chapters about this in one of my favorite books that I talk about all the time which is Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking The Stress Cycle by Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski.

From the time we are little our environment, everything we see, everything we hear, we learn, we absorb in today’s society is body centric. That is a truth that surrounds us. There is so much noise that attributes a woman’s worth to how she looks. We learn to see ourselves and judge how we look from an outside perspective, trying to figure out what other people must be thinking about us and then conform to try and fit those standards. When we look different than what society is telling us is acceptable, we start to self objectify and tell ourselves that we are not good enough, we aren’t pretty enough, we aren’t skinny enough, strong enough, or we’re too skinny, too tall, too short, too fat, too strong, our boobs are too big, our boobs are too small, our butt is nonexistent, our butt is too large. All of this leads to low self worth. Okay my cat just decided to join me here in the closet and he is purring very loudly so if you can hear him purring just try and ignore it because I am going to keep going with my recording. But all of this leads to low self-worth because society is telling us we’re not acceptable by these made up standards and then we are telling ourselves that we are not acceptable. We then start to believe that we are not worthy because of it.

So a key element to loving your body right now is understanding your worth. Your worth has nothing to do with how you look. It has nothing to do with what the scale says. Your worth is not determined by whether you are married or you have a partner. Your worth is not determined by the size of clothes that fit your body. Your worth is not determined by your shoe size, your skin color, your hair texture, whether men whistle or cat call you when you walk down a city street. Your worth is not determined by how many wrinkles you have, or if your skin is smooth, or acne free. Your worth is not determined by how straight your teeth are or how flat your belly is or whether you have thicker calves or ankles. Your worth is inherent. Your worth was given to you the moment you were born and you have nothing to do with it you. Your worth is constant. It is unchanging. It is unwavering. You do not have to change or be different in any way to have more worth, because you have always been and will always be at full capacity of your worth at 100%.

Society doesn’t want you to believe that your worth is inherent. So much of our society and culture today is driven by making profits and keeping you under control and if you believe that your worth is already full – that you are already enough just as you are – then that means you’re not going to fall for the idea of needing to buy something to change how you look. That means you’re going to believe that your opinions are valid and acceptable and that means you might not be as controllable as they want you to be. The idea floating around us at all times is that your body is a problem and it ne