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Ep #99 | Triggered Nervous System

Millie is feeling triggered at night and can't fall asleep.

Welcome to Friday Flip on the Becoming You Again podcast. Every Friday I take your divorce problems, conundrums and questions and do a quick flip around to empower you to show up as the best you after divorce.

When Millie lays down at night to go to bed she is triggered by the uncertainty of what her future holds after her divorce. This manifests in her body and mind being unable to rest or feel peace.

Listen in as I explain what may be happening to Millie's nervous system. I give her a simple grounding technique she can do anywhere to help regulate her nervous system to calm her mind and body.

List to the full episode:

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Full Episode Transcript:

Welcome to Friday Flip on the Becoming You Again podcast. Every Friday I take your divorce problems, conundrums and questions and do a quick flip around to empower you to show up as the best you after divorce.

Welcome back to Friday Flip. Before I get into this week’s question I wanted to let you know that this will be the last Friday Flip for the foreseeable future. With the podcast growth and my coaching practice growth I have to decide on where to put my focused time and putting out my main podcast episode that comes out every Monday is where I want to put my complete focus at this time. I may take your questions and create longer form episodes in the future where I answer several questions in the episodes so feel free to continue to submit your questions @karinnelsoncoach. You just have to DM me there. But for now this is the last Friday Flip episode.

Millie says, “The last few nights when I lay down to go to sleep I get scared about what my future is going to be like after the divorce. I begin to shake uncontrollably and my breathing is shallow and it’s like I’m having a nervous breakdown. How do I stop this reaction?”

Thanks for your question Millie. It sounds like your nervous system is being triggered by your uncertain thoughts about the future and it’s then going into an overburdened fight, flight or freeze mode. This is something that our nervous system does as a protection mechanism when it feels unsafe. So it may be useful to remember that nothing has gone wrong here. Your nervous system is doing its job and is working to protect you. But there are definitely certain things you can do to regulate or calm your nervous system when it reacts this way to help you feel more connected to yourself and less triggered as you lay down to sleep.

Since the uncertainty and worry that you are thinking about as you lay down is triggering this response inside your body, and that is all about the future, what might happen, what could happen, and all of that. Something that might be helpful is to ground yourself in the present. Something I use with my clients is to do a scan of your five senses. I find this tool to be useful when you are in bed. I use this tool when I can’t fall back asleep. Because what you are doing is you are bringing your thoughts back to the present moment and you are creating safety right now and you are calming and reassuring your nervous system that you are safe in this moment where you are. So start to move through your five senses taking one at a time and notice everything about them. What can you see? Name all of the things. Even if the lights are off what can you see in the darkness. What can you hear? Name all of the things. What can you touch? Name all of the things. What can you taste? Is there a taste in your mouth right now? Name them. What can you smell? If there anything you can smell in the air in this moment. This process is going to help to bring you back to the present and it is going to reassure your nervous system that in this very moment you are safe.

Thanks for your question Millie. Tune in on Monday for the latest episode and I will talk to you then.

That’s your Friday flip! Stay tuned for the weekly podcast episode that comes out every Monday. And remember if you want more one on one help from me as your divorce coach to help you create an even better life than when you were married, then you need to schedule your free consult with me by going to Remember that’s Karin with an ‘I’.



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