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Ep #91 | Friday Flip: Trying To Do It All

Lucia is struggling without a partner to pick up some of the slack.



Welcome to Friday Flip on the Becoming You Again podcast. Every Friday I take your divorce problems, conundrums and questions and do a quick flip around to empower you to show up as the best you after divorce.


Lucia feels her life is harder now that she is single and without a partner. She is having a hard time doing it all.


Listen in as I give Lucia some help with her life now without a partner and in changing the story that she has to do it all.


List to the full episode:



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Featured on this episode:


  1. Interested in the Divorce Betrayal Transformation? Learn more here.

  2. Are you lost and confused about who you are after divorce? Don't worry. I've got 51 Ways to Get to Know Yourself Again. Click here to download.

  3. Want to know first hand how Karin can help you with your specific problems so you can live an even better life than when you were married? Click here to schedule a free consult.

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Full Episode Transcript:

Welcome to Friday Flip on the Becoming You Again podcast. Every Friday I take your divorce problems, conundrums and questions and do a quick flip around to empower you to show up as the best you after divorce.


Welcome back to Friday Flip. This week’s problem is from Lucia. She says, “I am now divorced but finding life to be challenging without a partner. I don’t know how to do it all alone.”


Thanks, Lucia, for your submission. Let’s first take a look at the first part where you are finding life without a partner challenging. It may be true that parts of your life have become more difficult because you don’t have a partner to pick up the slack. But the question I would have you ask yourself is, why is this a problem? This assumes that life isn’t supposed to be challenging. it’s easy to fall into the comparison trap of looking to our old life before divorce when there were two of you to help take care of everything and think, that was so much easier. I want that life back. But we then forgot about how our life was going to be 50/50 in any circumstance, whether you’re married, with a partner or single. There will be things that are easy and things that are challenging – they will just look different in each scenario. Maybe it’s not a problem that you are noticing the challenges of being single. Start looking for ways that the challenge may be serving you. And look for ways that your life is actually now easier too. And you don’t need to compare to your old life. Comparison is truly the killer of all progress.


Now onto the second part of your submission. You may be feeling some overwhelm by thinking that you have to do it all so to kind of address that thought we need to slow things down and first figure out what is happening in your brain when you think about all the things you believe you have to do. What do you mean by ‘do it all’? What does that look like? Write out all the things so you know what your brain is telling you has to be done. Then the work will be to recognize that you don’t have to do it all. You really, really don’t. The world is not going to blow up if you don’t help your children with their homework. Your kids are not going to die if the house is messy. I promise you, you are telling yourself you have to do things that do not need to be done. That do not matter in the long run.


There are things you can let go of. There are things you can hire out. There are things you can figure out how to do. There are things that really don’t matter if they get done or not. And there are things that you can decide on purpose that you ‘want’ to keep doing. Taking the pressure off of yourself is where you’ll find freedom here. You don’t have to do it all. Decide intentionally on the things that you are willing to do or that you want to keep doing and then let the rest go.


Thanks for your question Lucia. I’ll be back next week.


That’s your Friday flip! Stay tuned for the weekly podcast episode that comes out every Monday. And remember if you want more one on one help from me as your divorce coach to help you create an even better life than when you were married, then you need to schedule your free consult with me by going to www.karinnelsoncoaching.com Remember that’s Karin with an ‘I’.


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