In this first episode I will introduce myself and tell you how the Becoming You Again podcast will impact your life after divorce as a divorced woman.
I believe it's possible for anyone who is divorced to create a life even better than when they were married. The way to do it is by reconnecting with yourself and Becoming You Again. In this podcast episode and every future episode I will focus on 3 pillars to help you become you again.
Listen in to discover what those 3 pillars are and how focusing on each one will lead to a better life after divorce.
If you want to start creating real change in your life after divorce by learning how to implement these 3 pillars in your life, with me as your coach guiding you every step of the way, you need to schedule your free consult call with me. Click here to schedule.
What you'll learn from this episode:
My intro and why I became a coach.
The 3 pillars to Becoming You Again after divorce.
How your life will be impacted by Becoming You Again after divorce.
List to the full episode:
Full Episode Transcript
Hello, and welcome to episode one of Becoming You Again. I am your host, Karin Nelson and this podcast is going to help guide and support women who are going through a divorce or who are divorced.
So I want to give you a quick introduction of me. I am Karin Nelson. I am a divorce confidence coach and I have been coaching divorced women since October 2019 by helping them move through the betrayal of their ex, creating a loving more connected relationship with themselves and creating an even better life than when they were married.
I personally am a mom of two amazing kids. I love my kids so much and I am so grateful for the relationship that we have created over our life together. My daughter is 20 years old and my son is 16 going on 17 and they are so much fun. I love having them in my life.
I went through my own divorce about 5 years ago after being married for almost 20 years. When I went through my divorce I was so afraid of what my life was going to look like. I was riding this emotional rollercoaster where one second I was hopeful and feeling a little happy about what was to come and the next moment I was just literally sobbing on the floor of my bathroom. I was just devastated by what my life had become and I was so scared that I’d never going to be able to make it on my own. I did not believe in myself enough to think that that was even a possibility. And I really hated myself going through this divorce. I really had a lot of judgment that it was not something that I should be choosing. I had a lot of judgment about who I was as a person. I really did not like myself very much and going through the divorce brought all of that negativity to the surface. I really did not like myself. I said a lot of mean things in my head constantly and all of that was brought to the surface. I quickly became aware that I had some work to do to get to know myself better, to love myself more and to figure out what I wanted in my life; what I wanted my life to be like after divorce. So I did the work. I found a coach and I found a mentor and I really did everything that they told me to do. And since that time I have worked to get to know myself better, to create more confidence in my life, to really get more in touch with what it is that I truly want and desire in life and one of those things was I realized I wanted to be a coach. I wanted to be able to help other women going through the same process and having the same emotions and transformations that I have been able to create in my life, I wanted to be able to help create that for other women as well. And so I became a coach. And I truly have been able to create a really beautiful, happy life after divorce and of course it is not perfect but I love where I’m at. I love what I have been able to create. I love that I have pushed myself to evolve into this different version of me that I really am so proud of and I love being able to help other women create that and realize that in their lives as well; That divorce does not have to define them. Divorce does not have to ruin their lives and that they truly can have an amazing life after divorce and that is one of the greatest joys of being a coach to divorced women is helping them create that in their own lives.
So in this first podcast episode I wanted to give a breakdown of what I think the three most important things are that will create lasting change in your life after divorce. These are the three main pillars that I use when I am coaching my own clients and that I will be focusing on in every future podcast episode in some way. These three pillars are what I believe to be the things that will help you become you again and create an even better life after divorce.
The three pillars are: your identity, your emotional resilience and your independence
So let me break these down for you in a very basic way. Your identity, meaning who are you? What do you think about yourself on a daily basis? How do those thoughts make you feel and what are those feelings fueling you to do or not do in your life? What is it creating in your experience of your life right now? Your identity is everything. It’s basically your relationship with yourself which is in reality the most important relationship in your life and if you can learn to accept all of you, the good and the bad, the amazing and the shitty – that’s when you can step into your greatest power as a human being. Creating that basis of your identity and understanding you on a granular level is where you are going to find confidence, you are going to find self-love, you are going to be able to expand that inside of you and then use that expansion to go out and love everybody else in your life. It is such a beautiful thing.
The second one is emotional resilience. Most of us go around living our lives in emotional childhood. We haven’t been taught how to actually feel and process through our emotions and we live our lives allowing the positive ones because they feel so good and then running and hiding when those negative emotions come up. When you learn emotional resilience and being willing to feel any emotion to be present in your life, you are no longer afraid of doing anything because you are not afraid of how you are going to feel during the process. Right? It is going to be okay to feel a negative emotion even though it is not your favorite because you know how to process it and move through it. Now, of course there’s a process to becoming an emotional adult –it’s something that I teach my clients. It is something that I work on in my own life every single day. But it is one of those things that the more you practice the better you get at allowing your emotions to be a part of your life and the better your life becomes because of it.
And then the third pillar independence. So many women coming out of divorce feel so completely incapable of living life on their own. I know for me this was a true thing for me because I went from living with my parents to living with my husband. I got married when I was 19 years old. And I never really had a period of independence where I was on my own at all. And whether or not that is your story so often we will be in relationships, long-term relationships where we are married and we attach ourselves to that other person which of course makes sense, right. We are married to them. We have a partnership and yet when we see the end of that relationship we feel completely incapable of doing anything on our own. We forgot how to make decisions for ourselves. We don’t trust ourselves enough to know that we can create the kind of life that we want and so we think that we are not smart enough. We think that we are not capable enough of finding a good job or paying our own way or handling being able to be a single parent or even just living on her own alone which is something that is very terrifying for so many of us. But none of that is true. You have the capabilities to be an independent, strong, empowered woman and you don’t need another person in your life to be able to create that for you. It is amazing if you want that on top – it’s like the cherry on top if after you get divorced and you find someone that you want to share your life with again. Totally amazing, but it does not define who you are. You do not need that in your life as a definition of you being able to live an amazing life because you don’t have a partner to help you do it. There is strength in independence and being able to recognize that capability in yourself. You truly can create a life even better than when you were married and step into who you are. You have just forgotten how to do it and that is what this podcast is going to help you do.
So those are the three pillars that I use in my coaching practice with my clients. I use these in my own life as I work toward evolving to my next best self and it is what I am going to be using moving forward with this podcast that I am going to teach you week to week. I hope that you will follow me through this journey and share and leave a comment if you like this topic and if you are excited about this and if it is something that helps you in your life. I am so excited to be doing this podcast. It is something I have been thinking about for a really long time and this being my very first episode I am very excited to put it out there so I hope that you enjoyed. I’ll talk to you next week.
If you like what you hear and you want to know how working 1:1 with me to can change your life, you can go to www.karinnelsoncoaching.com and schedule your free consult to find out more. That is www dot Karin Nelson Coaching dot com.