In today's episode I'm going to guide you through a simple, yet powerful somatic practice. Through somatic practice you will be able to create a more safe way to feel those hard to feel feelings that are so prevalent during divorce. You will also learn the art of pausing in the middle of intense moments to intentionally choose more aligned reactions to the person you want to be.
Make sure to listen to and practice this exercise in a safe space (i.e. not while driving) and come back to this practice as often as you need to help you live in intentionality, authenticity and truth. Join me on this journey toward resilience and renewal, and let's embrace the changes that lead you back to becoming you again.
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Grief and trauma are the two biggest struggles women deal with as they go through their divorce. It's highly likely that you are experiencing both and don't even realize what you're feeling. I'm here to tell you that it's okay for you to grieve your marriage (even if it was shitty) and it's normal to be experiencing some kind of trauma (which is essentially a disconnection from yourself - your mind, body and soul). I can help guide you through the grief in all of the forms it shows up so you can heal. I can also teach you how to ground yourself in healing so you can ease through the trauma. Schedule your free consult by clicking here.
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Interested in the Divorce Betrayal Transformation? Learn more here.
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Want to work first hand with Karin so you can stop worrying about what your life will be like after divorce, and instead begin making it amazing today? Click here to schedule a consult to find out more about working 1:1 with Karin as your coach.
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Full Episode Transcript:
This is episode number 144 of Becoming you Again, and I'm your host, Karin Nelson. Welcome to Becoming you Again, the podcast to help you with your mental and emotional well-being during and after divorce. This is where you learn to overcome the grief and trauma of your divorce. We're going to do that by reconnecting with yourself, creating lasting emotional resilience and living a truly independent life so that your life can be even better than when you were married. I'm your host, Karin Nelson. Welcome back to the podcast. My lovely ladies, I am so happy you're here today. I am going to be giving you a somatic practice that you can do on your own. You can come back to this podcast as many times as you need to if you want some direct walking through of this somatic practice. And it kind of goes right in line with the other podcast that I did where I'm giving you a grounding exercise. Basically, these types of exercises grounding exercises, somatic practices they all work in tandem together to help you calm your nervous system, to help you feel safe if you are feeling feelings that maybe are a little intense, maybe a little scary. And the really great thing about somatic practice is it can help you to live in intentionality, to live in authenticity and to live in your truth, which is sometimes really difficult for us to do if we haven't been practicing that, if we haven't been taught that, or if we haven't done it in a really, really long time. And so I'm going to teach you this practice today, so that when you are in one of those situations where you are just done like when you've just had trigger after trigger after trigger from your ex or from the kids, or the kids are fighting constantly, or maybe your boss has piled on more than it feels like you can handle and everything just feels like it's all piling up, everything is overwhelming and your house is a disaster, and you get home from work and everyone's questioning you and needing something from you and you are just done. I know every single one of you has felt this way at one point or another, and maybe it's happening more often because you're going through the divorce or you're living a single life again, and this is something that you weren't expecting in your life at this age, at this time, but I know that we've all felt this way. In fact, for me, I felt this way just a couple of weeks ago, like I was just done. I wasn't allowing myself the space that I needed to process through my emotions. I was kind of holding onto everything. I was holding everything in my vagus nerve was like, completely activated. My central nervous system was activated. I was very heightened and it was just like one thing after another was piling on top of it and I wasn't doing what I needed to do to take care of it. I wasn't grounding myself, I wasn't walking myself through somatic practices. I wasn't feeling safe in my body and I was just done and I was literally about to flip my lid. I was able to create safety by doing the somatic practice that I'm going to walk you through today, and what it does is, instead of flipping your lid, instead of freaking out, instead of losing your shit, instead of freezing and going into shutdown mode like whatever, however, it is that your body reacts in moments like that. What the somatic practice is going to allow you to do is to pause to breathe and then, in that pause, that's where you get to decide how you want to react, moving forward. That's where you get to decide, in that intentional pause, how you're going to live in intentionality, in authenticity and in your truth. And this is also, like I said before such a great way for you to feel your feelings in a more safe manner, or just for you to make better choices when intense moments come along. So, without further ado, it's not a very long practice. Anyone can do it at literally almost any moment. Maybe don't do it while you're driving because you're going to have to like not be looking forward for part of it. So if you're driving, maybe don't do this. If you're around other people, you could still do it, but just take a moment for yourself. If you can, go into your bathroom, go into your office and close the door, go into your bedroom, whatever it is, and just take a moment for yourself and, if it feels very loving, work through this somatic practice in the few moments that it's going to take. So first, let's get oriented. I want you to stand up, if you can, and just shake out. Shake your body out, shake your arms, your limbs, your trunk move, shake it out, get present. Get present in this moment. Now what we're going to do is we are going to orient, because orienting reminds the nervous system about who you are, when you are and where you are. It's all about being present. Present is where healing happens. Now I want you to take your chin and your nose and direct them over your left shoulder so that your head is turned to the left side, looking over your left shoulder. Now, of course, you can do your right shoulder if that's more comfortable to you. Pick a side, it doesn't matter, one isn't better than the other, whichever one feels more comfortable for you to start with. But I am going to direct you from left to right. Do it the other way around, that's totally fine. Now, very slowly, slowly, as slow as possible, rotate your head from left all the way to the right so that your chin and nose are going to end up over your right shoulder or turned to your right side. But you're only rotating your neck and your head, not your whole body. And as you do this head and neck rotation, you're going to name the things that you see. I'm going to walk you through this in just a second. I'll take you all the way through, as slow as it needs to be, as slow as possible, if it's possible for you, if it feels loving for you to do it slow. And what we're doing in this somatic practice is you are reminding your brain and your body that you are safe, that you are present, that you are an adult and that you are not in danger. So let me walk you through this. And again, if you are in a space, a time where you can do this with me, do it with me, and if not, pause and come back to this part as often as you need Sweater door, window pane, front window, piano bench, piano wall, sideboard, front door, laundry room door, coat hooks, garage door, stair banister, french door windows, whiteboard, office wall wall. So do that practice, take it slow, and if your brain starts to chatter during this practice and you are having a hard time staying present, that's okay. Nothing has gone wrong, because our brains like to shout things at us sometimes. Our brains like to be mean to us sometimes, and if that is a normal occurrence with your brain, that's okay. Again, nothing has gone wrong. Our brains like to do all sorts of things to protect us. So just pause, pause the practice and if it feels loving, put your hand to your chest and just breathe, breathe, notice the breath in, let it out slow with pursed lips and try and go back to the practice If it feels loving and if it feels loving and if it doesn't, that's okay. Make space and for the brain chatter. Let it be there, allow space for it and come back and try again when you can. All right, my friends, thank you so much for being here. I hope that this helps as you work through calming your nervous system, wanting and needing to feel safe in your body and where you're at, and allowing yourself to process through those feelings. Thanks for being here. I'll talk to you next week. Hi, friend, I'm so glad you're here and thanks for listening. I wanted to let you know that if you're wanting more, a way to make deeper, more lasting change, then working one-on-one with me as your coach may be exactly what you need. Together, we'll take everything you're learning in the podcast and implement it in your life, with weekly coaching, real life practice and practical guidance. To learn more about how to work with me one-on-one, go to KarinNelsonCoaching dot com. That's www dot karin nelson coaching dot com. Thanks for listening. If this podcast agreed with you in any way, please take a minute to follow and give me a rating wherever you listen to podcasts and for more details about how I can help you live an even better life than when you were married. Make sure and check out the full show notes by clicking the link in the description.