Have you heard the statement, where your focus goes energy flows? In this episode I'm exploring the concept of purposely directing your energy toward what you want in your life, instead of focusing on what you don't want. You'll learn why your energetic potential is limitless and what that can mean for you and your life. You'll come away understanding why being intentional over being reactive in your life is so powerful.
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If you're going through a divorce or are divorced, odds are you've gone through something traumatic. It may show up in how you're constantly second guessing yourself. It may show up in how you feel triggered by even the smallest things. It may show up in never feeling secure in your emotions, always feeling like they are out of control. It may show up in your ability to believe that you're worthy, lovable or capable of living a life on your own. If any of these are resonant with you, then I invite you to schedule your free consult with me and we'll talk about what may be helpful to you to get you through the trauma and begin to heal. Schedule your free consult by clicking here.
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Full Episode Transcript:
I’m Karin Nelson and you’re listening to Becoming You Again episode number 106.
Welcome to becoming You Again. The podcast to help you with your mental and emotional wellbeing during and after divorce. This is where you learn to overcome the trauma of your divorce by reconnecting with yourself, creating lasting emotional resilience and living a truly independent life so your life will be even better than when you were married. I’m your host Karin Nelson.
Welcome back my lovely ladies. I am happy to be here with you today. I wanted to talk about something that has been on my mind a lot lately and it’s about intentional energy flow. Let me tell you what I mean by that. Everything around us is energy, right? Like we are basically balls of energy. Everything around us is energy. And when we break us as humans down to our smallest parts we are essentially electrons that are just vibrating in space.
I am not a scientist so let me just explain this as I understand it. As I understand it we are 99% energy/movement and vibration that is all working simultaneously together and then 1% is actual physical substance. When you really think about that that is mind blowing to me anyway. That is literally mind blowing to even comprehend what that means. We are 1% physical substance and 99% energy, movement and vibration all working simultaneously. And all of that energy that makes up you and me is pure potential. It means there is pure possibility going on within us, inside of us, around us. And the really incredible thing about energy is it cannot be created and cannot be destroyed – all it can do is change form. And I like to think about this and what I find really fascinating about all of this is that, that means that we have the capability to be intentional about our energy, about where we direct our energy and change its form in some way. So I will kind of explain as I go.
If everything that we are is energy, then that means that our thoughts also are energy. Our emotions also our energy. And because we can learn to be conscious about where our energy flows, then that also means that we are capable of deciding on purpose where we choose to direct our energy when it comes to her thoughts, when it comes were emotions, when it comes to nervous system, all of those we can be intentional on and we are capable of deciding on that.
This may be getting a little bit too meta or too woo for some of you but stick with me here for a minute because learning to be intentional is something that will serve you and your life, whether you believe it is because of where you are directing your energy or whether you believe it is because you are learning to manage your mind, or learning to be emotionally intelligent or something else. But no matter what you believe, the fact remains intentionality extends the space that is found between a stimulus and a response. So if we take this out of nonscientific terms, something happens and then there is a response; we have a response to that pain occurring. Right? Now that response will be automatic and based on our nervous system unless and that’s a big unless we learn to add intention conscious thinking or intentional direction of our energy.
I love this. I think it is such a beautiful concept. Again with everything that I say take it or leave it. If it resonates with you adopt it, except it, learn more better, think about it, decide for yourself if this is true for you. And if it does not you can totally leave it behind but I love this concept and I think it is fascinating and beautiful and so I am choosing to accept it in my life and work on creating more of it in my life.
Ok so let me give you an example so this makes more real world sense. The other day I found out some information about my ex that was on my mind a lot. So I found out this information and then I just latched onto it and fixated on all of the ways this new information could potentially affect me, could maybe affect my kids in the future if it wasn’t fixed or taken care of and then I was just anxious about it for hours and hours. I woke up in the middle of the night thinking about it and I didn’t like that feeling. I didn’t like fixating on it but also I was. So it was like I was kind of in his back and forth in my brain of like you shouldn’t be thinking about this but you are thinking about this so how do you stop thinking about this but you should be allowing your feelings. It was so much of this you should be doing this or maybe you shouldn’t be doing this and how can we change it or maybe we just feel it. Like all of that. Right.
So I take it to my coach I am talking to my coach and she reminded me that my thoughts are energy and that I was spinning in thoughts about this thing that was 100% out of my control and I was feeling all of this anxiety was continuing to replicate this energy in my body and in my nervous system of anxiety, of worry, of panic, of swirling about the future and worrying about the future and anxious about the past and what had happened in the past and feeling very out of control in my own life even though this information literally most likely will not affect me at all. And yet what we do with our energy as we directed toward the things that we don’t want. We worry about the things that we don’t want to happen. We become anxious and fixated on the things that we don’t want and that is exactly what I was doing with my energy with this information. I was fixated completely on all of the things that I didn’t want. That I don’t want. The things that I didn’t want to think about and yet I couldn’t stop myself from thinking about that, from creating that energetic vibration in that way.
So we talked about being intentional with my energy. As the saying goes, where my focus goes my energy flows, right? I don’t know if you’ve heard that before, but it’s a great one. I don’t know if Tony Robbins coined this but I know he says it a lot. Where your focus goes, your energy flows. And I find that very true. It is definitely what I was doing in this situation. And this is true for everyone. Your body, your nervous system, my body, my nervous system, it doesn’t understand the difference or care about the difference really between negative energy or negative thoughts or positive energy or positive thoughts. It just sees it all as thoughts or energy, right? There’s no positive and negative to my body and my nervous system and your body and your nervous system. It is all just one. Right. Thoughts. Energy. Flow. Feelings. Emotions. They are not positive and negative to your body they just are what they are.
We are the ones that decide what is positive and what is negative, what feels good and what does not feel good. Right? So my body is just sending energy and vibrations and movement depending on the stimulus. I began to realize in this specific situation that it was within my power and within my capability to direct my focus on wanted to think about and what I wanted to do about this instead of what I didn’t want. Again I was directing all of my energy to what I didn’t want to happen. I was directing all of my energy to things that happened in the past and thinking about the future and what might possibly happen that I didn’t want to happen, right. How this could possibly affect me. And because of that my body was reacting in response to that with anxiety, with tightness, with stress, before he, with a tight feeling in my stomach, with keeping me up at all hours of the night. And so after talking about this with my coach and really thinking about the directional flow that I wanted my energy to be going in I decided that I was allowed to direct my energy toward what I wanted, what I knew was good. What I knew was safe and how I could feel safe right now. In this moment. And when I did that and when I allowed myself to intentionally decide where I wanted my focus to go some energy would flow my body reacted in response to that by feeling warm, by feeling peaceful, by feeling calm and by being present.
This is an important thing that I hope he will take from this in understanding that you get to decide. Energy is energy. Feelings are feelings. Thoughts are thoughts in the body does not understand or know the difference like I said between positive and negative, good or bad, it just sees them as what they are.
So how will you direct your energy this coming week? What intentions do you want to set for yourself moving forward, because your intentions are important. They matter. They inform your body on how to respond in any given situation and you are allowed to decide intentionally where and how you want your focus to go so that your energy can follow. That is totally up to you.
Again let me ask you those questions. How will you direct your energy this coming week? What intentions do you want to set for yourself moving forward? It is something to think about.
Alright my lovely friends. That’s what I have for you today. I hope that you will take a moment to just think about this and decide what are some intentions that I want in my life to create a flow of energy that feels good, that feels calming, that feels peaceful, that feel safe? Have a beautiful week my friends. Thank you for listening. I will talk you next week.
If you like what you’re learning on the podcast and you’re ready to create lasting change and results in your life then you need to be working 1:1 with Karin as your divorce coach. This is where we take everything you’re learning in the podcast and 10x it with implementation and weekly coaching where you start to see change in yourself and your life immediately. To find out more about how work exclusively with Karin go to www.karinnelsoncoaching.com . That’s www dot Karin nelson coaching dot com.
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