This week's question comes from Ahna.
Welcome to Friday Flip on the Becoming You Again podcast. Every Friday I take your divorce problems, conundrums and questions and do a quick flip around to empower you to show up as the best you after divorce.
Listen in as I answer the question of how to stop repeating old cycles moving forward in a new relationship.
If you want more one on one help from me as your divorce coach to help you create an even better life than when you were married, then you need to schedule your free consult with me by clicking here to schedule.
List to the full episode:
Full Episode Transcript:
Welcome to Friday Flip on the Becoming You Again podcast. Every Friday I take your divorce problems, conundrums and questions and do a quick flip around to empower you to show up as the best you after divorce.
Today’s problem comes from Ahna. I’ve met a really great guy after my divorce. He treats me better than I’ve ever been treated. I was hurt so bad in my marriage and I’ve been carrying around that anger and hurt for so long, but I know I need to let that go. I’m afraid if I don’t I’m going to transpose or continue the cycle of what happened in my first marriage with this new relationship. How do I stop repeating the same cycle moving forward?
So Ahna, thank you so much for your question. So here’s the most basic answer to your question. If you don’t want to repeat what you’ve been doing in the past then you need to think, feel and do differently. Because what you think leads to how you feel and how you feel fuels what you do.
That’s the basic premise and I’ll break it down a little bit more, but I want you to remember that this is a simple answer to something that isn’t always easy to implement. This is literally why people come to me for coaching because they want deeper help and guidance on doing exactly this.
But here’s what basically needs to happen. You need to first become aware of what you were thinking during your past relationship, you need to take ownership of how you felt and showed up and then you’re going to ask yourself now what?
Because becoming aware means you figure out what the story was that you were telling yourself about your relationship. How did that story make you feel and then what did you do because of that. The best way to do this is to take a specific situation and break it all down. After you do that then you can decide now what? Meaning who do I want to be going forward? Do I want to continue to think and feel these things and act this way in my future relationship? Or do I want it to be different and if I want it to be different, how do I want to think and feel moving forward? And then you just get to work creating those new thoughts and new feelings which will have you acting in a completely different way.
That’s your Friday flip! Stay tuned for the weekly podcast episode that comes out every Monday. And remember if you want more one on one help from me as your divorce coach to help you create an even better life than when you were married, then you need to schedule your free consult with me by going to www.karinnelsoncoaching.com Remember that’s Karin with an ‘I’.