top of page
Search

Ep #68: Why the Holidays Hurt After Divorce | Becoming You Again Podcast



The holidays can be a tough time of year for women who are divorced. I hear this all the time, ‘I used to love the holidays and now after my divorce I hate them. I dread them coming up.’ Or women will come to me and tell me that even though they don’t miss their ex at all, they still feel a lot of sadness around not being a family that’s all together during the holidays.


Because this is so common and because the holidays are coming up fast, I wanted to talk about why there can be so much hurt this time of year and give you some tools to use to help you feel a little bit better as we approach the holidays.


To schedule your complimentary consult with Karin click here.


To schedule your complimentary 30 minute consult with Karin click here.


To join the free monthly group coaching and support call click here.


The Becoming You Again Program for divorced women is coming! If you want to be the first to know when it's available then you need to join the waitlist by clicking here.


Make sure to follow and rate the podcast on your favorite podcasting app.


List to the full episode:


Do you want to have an amazing holiday season this year and for years to come? Are you tired of dreading seeing all the happy families, feeling let down by your ex, and not being able to be with your kids every year? Did you used to love the holidays and now hate this time of year because of the pain and sadness that lingers on? If this sounds like you, then I want you to know that you can learn to love the holidays again. Schedule your free consult with me and we'll talk about what you're struggling with and how I can help. You don't have to figure out life after divorce all on your own. We'll take everything that you're learning on the podcast and step by step implement it in your life to help you heal and move forward toward the life that you actually want to live. Schedule your free consult by clicking here.


Featured on this episode:

  1. Interested in the Divorce Betrayal Transformation? Learn more here.

  2. Are you lost and confused about who you are after divorce? Don't worry. I've got 51 Ways to Get to Know Yourself Again. Click here to download.

  3. Want to work first hand with Karin so you can stop worrying about what your life will be like after divorce, and instead begin making it amazing today? Click here to apply to work 1:1 with Karin as your coach.

  4. Haven't left a review yet? No problem. Click here to leave one.


Full Episode Transcript:

I’m your host, Karin Nelson and you’re listening to Becoming You Again, episode number 68.


Welcome to becoming You Again. The podcast to help you with your mental and emotional wellbeing during and after divorce. This is where you learn to overcome the trauma of your divorce by reconnecting with yourself, creating lasting emotional resilience and living a truly independent life so your life will be even better than when you were married. I’m you’re host Karin Nelson.


Hello my friends. How is everything going? Everything here is going great. Utah is absolutely beautiful this time of year. We had our first snow the other day, and even with the snow the leaves are still turning their beautiful colors. My daughter who is in her junior year of college came over to spend the afternoon with me the other day and it was so much fun. We kept it very chill. There’s a little local small town grocery store that has the BEST donuts around. We went and got some donuts, I took her grocery shopping. We came back to the house and watched some UFC which is one of mine and my boyfriend’s favorite things to watch on Saturdays and she’s not a huge fan of blood so she did close her eyes a few times. But it was just fun hanging out. We played skipbo and snuggled with cats and talked. It was such a nice chill afternoon. What have you been up to? What do you like to do when your adult kids come to visit for a little bit?


Oh and also announcement time. I almost forgot. If you don’t know already I have a free monthly group coaching and support call that anyone can come to. This month’s call for November 2022 is going to be November 22 at 5:30 pm Mountain time – that’s 7:30 eastern. I just want to remind you this is the Tuesday right before Thanksgiving. And I promise you if you are struggling with the holidays you are going to want to come to this call. It is going to be so helpful for you to get some coaching to get the support that you need. If you are in any way struggling with the upcoming holiday season come to this call. It is free. You can get coached by me. You can just come listen to other people getting coached. If you’ve already registered for a previous call you don’t have do anything. You’re good. I will send out the reminders and the same link. All you have to do is check your email and put this call on your calendar. And if you haven’t and what I want you to do is click the link in the show notes and register for the call. Again, this month’s call in November is the 22nd, that is November 22, 2022 at 5:30 PM Mountain time. So make sure you get registered and come to the call. Put it on your calendar right now so you don’t forget. And come get the help that you need.


And this is actually a really good segue into today’s topic which is why the holiday’s hurt after divorce. The holidays can be a tough time of year for a lot of women who are divorced. I hear this all the time, ‘I used to love the holidays and now after my divorce I hate them. I dread them coming up.’ Or women will come to me and tell me that even though they don’t miss their ex at all, they still feel a lot of sadness around not being a family that’s all together during the holidays.


Because this is so common and because the holidays are coming up very fast, right, I wanted to talk about why there can be so much hurt this time of year and I wanted to give you a few tools or a few fixes to use to help you possibly feel a little bit better as the holidays come around.


I think for many of us, especially in the US, over the last few months of the year like the last 60 days, right, we believe that it’s a very overwhelming time of year, because in the US as most of you know we’ve got Halloween and then Thanksgiving a couple of weeks later and then December hits and it’s just like every holiday possible really. Depending on your religious or your cultural beliefs we’ve got Hannukah to Christmas to Kwanza and then before you know it, it’s new years’ eve. Right. And there is so many other holidays thrown in there and then holiday parties and all of the things.


And because as a society we tend to associate this idea of celebrating holidays with family, and that makes so much sense that so many of us who are divorced would feel sad and disappointed around the holidays. One of the reasons so many women feel hurt and absolutely dread the holidays when they really used to love them is because many women define their divorce as a breakup of their family. And when they then think about their family as broken, then of course it’s going to hurt and feel painful to head into a season of the year where everything you see, everywhere you go, everything around you is completely focused on families being together.


So I want you to kn