This week's question comes from Lacy.
Welcome to Friday Flip on the Becoming You Again podcast. Every Friday I take your divorce problems, conundrums and questions and do a quick flip around to empower you to show up as the best you after divorce.
Listen in as I answer the question of dealing with worry and anxiety around the ex and the custody agreement.
If you want more one on one help from me as your divorce coach to help you create an even better life than when you were married, then you need to schedule your free consult with me by clicking here to schedule.
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Full Episode Transcript:
Welcome to Friday Flip on the Becoming You Again podcast. Every Friday I take your divorce problems, conundrums and questions and do a quick flip around to empower you to show up as the best you after divorce.
Today’s conundrum is from Lacy. She says, “I just found out my ex’s girlfriend is buying a house much bigger where she is now with lots of land and more bedrooms. I have this sinking feeling that he’s going to try and take more custody of the kids. He doesn’t have the money for a house and is very behind in child support. I’ve never met his girlfriend. I’m so upset and just want to cry and throw up.”
Lacy, I’m sorry the idea of this is causing you so much stress. Worry and anxiety always live in the future which is why you’re feeling so much right now. You described a sinking feeling that he’ll try and take more custody of the kids – but that’s not actually a feeling – it’s really what you’re thinking and it’s causing you feel worry and anxiety. So it’s good for you to know that it’s your own head running away with a story that’s making you feel so upset. The best thing you can do right now is remember that nothing has changed yet with the custody – and it might not ever change. When your brain wants you to worry about things that might happen, just to remind it that right now everything is good. You have your kids the amount you want them now and IF he wants a change to the custody agreement in the future, then you’ll figure out how to deal with that when it happens. But trying to solve for a problem that hasn’t even happened yet is impossible. So in this moment I’m going to focus on what I can control. I can control whether I let my mind spin out of control on an unknown made up future scenario and disconnect from my kids in the present now and instead, connect with them now in the present.
That was a good one that can help so many of us. Thanks for the problem Lacy.
That’s your Friday flip! Stay tuned for the weekly podcast episode that comes out every Monday. And remember if you want more one on one help from me as your divorce coach to help you create an even better life than when you were married, then you need to schedule your free consult with me by going to www.karinnelsoncoaching.com Remember that’s Karin with an ‘I’.