Ep #18: Lessons from Marie Forleo | Becoming You Again Podcast
Updated: Aug 22, 2022
Today is a special episode where you get to listen in on my book club discussion of everything is figureoutable by marie forleo.
This week's episode is a peak inside the Becoming You Again Book Club discussion, where we discuss Everything is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo, which was last month's book club choice.
You'll come away from this discussion with some great tips on figuring out the challenges in your life especially as a woman who has gone through divorce.
What you'll learn from this episode:
The five things that inform our beliefs and how we can change them if we choose.
The importance of attitude.
Small and simple steps create progress.
How comparison is holding you back.
The uniqueness of you.
List to the full episode:
Featured on this episode:
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Full Episode Transcript:
Welcome back to Becoming You Again. I’m your host Karin Nelson. I’m a certified divorce confidence coach and this is the podcast where I teach you how to reconnect with yourself, create emotional resiliency and live a truly independent life, so you can have an even better life than when you were married.
I have a special podcast for y’all today. I have a book club run exclusively through my divorce support private Facebook group and it’s called Becoming You Again Book Club. Of course I have to go along with the whole theme of Becoming You Again and this last month we read the book Everything is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo. And I just had the discussion with the group the other day and previously I have run discussions where everyone can come and speak their mind and kind of tell their own things and this month I ran it little bit different where I just showed up and kind of shared the things that stood out to me and the things that I have learned from the book hoping that it will help anyone who maybe has not read the book or was not able to get through the book or whatever in the book club but they would still come away with some things that could help them as they move forward in their life after divorce and I wanted to share this month’s discussion with everyone who listens to my podcast so that you can kind of see how it works. You can learn something from Marie Forleo’s book Everything is Figureoutable because it is an amazing book and I want to kind of share with you this discussion and so if you’re interested and you want to join the book club for the next month coming up you can do that. There will be a link in the description below. You can go ahead and click that and that will register you to join the book club. You will get emails telling you about the book, when the discussion will be and all of the good stuff that will keep you informed. But it is just a fun place for you to come and learn and be a part of the discussion and a community full of other women who are also going through divorce just like you and so I am going to share this. I hope you enjoy this episode. I am hoping that the sound will be okay because when I did this discussion I was not in my closet where I normally record my podcast and so the sound is a little bit better. I was actually in my office just on a Zoom and so it might be a little echoey but hopefully you can forgive me for the sound and just learn some amazing things from this book club discussion. All right. Here you go. I hope you enjoy.
Welcome to book club discussion for this month’s book which was Everything is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo and I’m probably going to mess up on saying that word since it is not really a real word but I really like the word. Daisy says that she has read very little of the book. It is totally fine. You can totally come to listen and learn. That is part of what this book club is for is that if you have not had a chance to read the book or listen to it or get into it as much as he wished or hoped that is totally fine. I am going to offer you some of the things that I really learned from this book and some of the things that stuck out to me and I am going to share them with you. If you are watching this live, like Daisy, or if you are watching this on the replay, either way I hope you will learn something from the amazing things that Marie has to teach in this book because I think this is an amazing book. It is the second time I’ve read it. And of course, which always happens to me when I’m reading books I seem to get something different out of it each time that I read it, right? This book is no exception. The first time I read it I was in a totally different place. Right when it came out it was just a year or two after my divorce and now I am like five years out from my divorce and I am in a totally different place in my life and I am seeing so many different things in a different way than I did the first time. So I think that is the great thing about books in general is if we read them again and we are in a different place in our lives we kind of learn different things that we might need in those moments. So I will share with you the things that stick out most to me and hopefully you can apply them and maybe if you have gone through the book later on or have gone through some of the exercises that Marie has at the end of each chapter you will be able to get some really great things to help you evolve and grow in your life where you are at as well.
Alright so the first thing that I really wanted to talk about is in Chapter 3, it is called the Magic of Belief. Marie really focuses this whole entire chapter on how we create our own life experience. She talks about how our thoughts create our beliefs which then create our feelings which then fuel our actions and that is what creates our results or our life experience. Which is very, very similar to what I teach my clients when I am coaching them. I believe that thoughts and beliefs are basically the same thing. A belief is something you think over and over and over again and Marie just kind of lays it out a little different but really it comes down to the whole idea that we believe something and it makes us feel something and that is fueling our actions or inactions in our lives and that then creates our overall experience, our overall result in our life and so what I want to focus on specifically from this chapter is she talks a lot about first of all where our beliefs come from and she lays out five different areas where we form our beliefs as humans and I kind of want to go through those and then talk about how we can change our beliefs if we want to. Just because we have learned them and we think them does not mean we have to keep thinking them or keep believing them. And so the first way that Marie talks about we learn our beliefs is from our environment, right? It is from who we were raised by like our parents and our family and our society and our culture and our teachers and maybe our religions. If you were raised – I was raised Mormon. And so I do not happen to continue to be Mormon but my family is and I know all of the teachings and I understand them because I was raised in them and it definitely informed a lot of my beliefs as I was growing up. So just your environment in general will inform so many of your beliefs, whether you are aware of them or not because from the time that you are little tiny baby up until the time you move out on your own so many of the thought processes and things that we experience in our lives are coming from our environment and so those create beliefs whether we realize it is happening or not.
The next one, I just mentioned it, is our experience. Direct experiences over time. And so she talks about these experiences being positive and negative. And of course we all know this, right? Because of the things that we experience in our lives that is definitely going to inform how we perceive the world and the judgments and the expectations that we put out there and the way that we kind of view the world through a specific lens. So much of that comes from what we actually experience in our own lives whether those are good or bad experiences. That is how we inform our lives and it becomes some of the beliefs that we have.
The next one that she talks about is evidence. A lot of this would have to do with like the “truth” and I am going to put truth quotes because truth is sometimes subjective. Not always. Not all facts are subjective but truth often can be subjective depending on what is informing our beliefs and our truth in our life and so she is talking about in this specific example of evidence as coming from authority figures. So teachers would often be people who are informing us in our formative years. Again for me specifically religious, religious leaders. I do not know if you know anything about the Mormon church but we went to church every Sunday and during the week we had activities with leaders and so I had a lot of people who were authority figures in my life kind of informing the truth that I believed in my life as I was growing up and that has since created beliefs in my life that I have decided to either continue to hold onto or to change as I have grown. You probably do the same thing and have done the same thing as you have grown and had authority figures in your own life informing you on some of your beliefs.
The next one that she talks about is examples. And specifically like mentors. People that you witness out in the world who are doing things and you look at them and think, “wow if they can do that then maybe I can do that too.” And using these people as an example in your life that if it is possible for them it might be possible for me and you could take that on at the belief for yourself. She gives the example of Oprah who saw, I think it was Barbara Walters, Oprah saw Barbara Walters on television as a television host. You know she was on the news stations or whatever she was doing, and Oprah looked at her and thought, “There’s a woman who is hosting this news channel, this news station. I wonder if it would be possible for me to do that?” So she used that as a belief for her that it might be possible for her to create that as well. So examples are great things in our lives and sometimes not so great, right? Where do we get this information of some of the beliefs that we are having. Some are good, some are bad, some will serve us and some won’t and that is kind of why we have to take a look at them and decide whether we want to keep these bel